These Snippets of Mine
by Erithemaeus
Summary: Just a collection of short and humorous omakes to flex my mind till my muse comes back. They're all omakes, by the way. And if you haven't read This War of Mine yet...then you wouldn't get this one bit, so go and read them now. I swear that you're in for a good time. Just visit here for some wholesome goodness.


**AN: Just needed to let off some steam for my muse to get back on doign my current fics. Basically, I'll go here if I'm ever so inspired. Plus, I'm sure that some of you might be impatient to wait for chapter 5. In any case, I hope you enjoy.**

**These aren't as long as the original story, by the way. And they're more humorous in nature, since that's my strong point (I think).**

* * *

Once, there comes a time when you think that you know everything. That you have the whole world in your fingertips, ready to mold it into your image. Now, while I am not interested in pursuing the mantle of 'Lord of Evil' and 'Conqueror of the Known World', there are a few times wherein I sincerely debated against myself to see if it was worth going down the dark side, after all.

Case in point: this.

"We're sorry."

Teams RWBY and JNPR are now currently sequestered in a spare classroom, their clothes wet and soiled with various amounts of organic matter. Does it sound more disgusting? Yes. Because I'm pretty sure that they deserve it. Why does it feel like every time that there's trouble in the Academy, it's always these individuals? These irresponsible, unworthy, immature pricks who think that-

"Professor Acht, I would suggest tuning down your intent to harm these children." I straighten at that, meeting Goodwitch's gaze while I glance to my sides to see if she could be referring to anyone else. A second later however, I nod and reign in my annoyance once more, more than happy to give her the spotlight. As much as I want to punish them as well, everyone in the faculty knew that Glynda Goodwitch was the one who delivered the worst punishments.

Lucky that I pointed her into the direction of the mayhem. Now I get a front row seat to the theater.

"While it would be remiss of a new professor to destroy his reputation by giving unearned beatdowns to his students... more experienced staff do not have to play by this social stigma."

"Professor?!"

Having a telekinetic Semblance really is useful compared to mine. While I need effort and stamina in order to win my battles, Goodwitch could simply wave her hand and freeze all the annoying students in their puberty and the weird inflections of their voices. That, and gather up all the chairs in the room and point them towards the eight individuals currently seated on the center table, unable to move and surrounded on all sides by menacing wooden furniture.

It is not a sentence that I expect to be uttered within my second lifetime. "Now stay still. By the moment you come to, all of you are going to be halfway done with Tsune's medical care."

Right, that sadistic Faunus manning the infirmary. Had to stitch myself up after my meeting (thorough beatdown) with Roman at the docks just to make sure that she doesn't go after me with her overcompensatingly-large scissors of hers. It was fun, looking back on it. Though I was sure that my screams haunted a lot of people through the night.

"Goodwitch." The furniture stopped, and the irate woman turns towards me with an exasperated glare. _'Out with it or I murder you with them', _she seemed to say. I'm pretty sure I'm well-versed in the art of conversing with glares, so my guess was accurate. I didn't need a chair aimed at my face to confirm, really.

"Can I get my apprentice? I'd like to administer some special punishment on him."

Jaune was sent flailing through the air, only to be caught by my hand snaking around the scruff of his uniform. I waved at the others, ignoring a distraught Pyrrha along the way. I slam the door open and chuck my idiotic apprentice through it, closing the door behind me just as the mayhem started.

I ignored the banging on the walls. Goodwitch had made sure that I kept an eye out for any individuals aiming to enter this room. I was pretty sure that Ozpin got the memo as well.

"So, uh... it was an accident?"

My attention turns towards my grudging apprentice, the epitome of a spur-of-the-moment decision. He must've noticed the wicked grin on my face, since he started running immediately. Too bad his first instinct wasn't to jump out a window. He might've gotten away with it too, if it wasn't for that meddling kunai I threw near his crotch.

"NORA STARTED IT!"

"The lot of you are seventeen, not twelve. You should act like it." I stand over my apprentice, cracking my fists as a kunai accidentally slipped through my fingers. "Now go and take your punishment like a man."

* * *

The rest of the lot pressed their ears against a wall, their labored breaths and flushed faces easy to see from someone outside the window. Qrow rolled his eyes, flapping down to take a closer look, only for him to freeze when he hears the voice of his adopted-but-technically-not-since-I'm-his-actual-father son.

_"Open wide!"_

_"N-No! Don't do it! The retractable shield's_ not _supposed to go in _that _hole!_"

Qrow blinked. Or, his crow form blinked. His eyes turned towards his nieces, finding both of them rubbing their knees together, and decided that as much as he wants to make it up to Hheron, he's going to make sure that he's in a world of pain first for daring to corrupt his darling nieces.

_"How's that, huh? Sword's too heavy for you, isn't it? Then grab it with both hands, you idiot!"_

_"I'm exhausted...please give me a break..."_

_"There's no rest for the wicked. No get back to work!"_

"Oh, he's wicked alright." Qrow blinks once more, turning his head to see Goodwitch's labored breathing and frantic flush on her cheeks. "Go on. Dominate him. Show your student that he cannot win against you, no matter how hard he tries or how intelligent he gets. You are simply _better _than him."

_'...Now I wish I didn't see that.'_

So Goodwitch had a fetish. Who knew?

In any case, he wasn't going to stay here in the den of debauchery. Qrow flies through the door, landing with perfect grace in the middle of the hallway, and he took the time to preen just as the flash of a blade passed through his vision. A squawk emanated from his bird-form, the sword flashing against his Aura as he was pinned into the parqueted floor, yet the Huntsman recovered quickly and turned his gaze onto the action: his adopted-but-technically-not-since-I'm-his-actual-father son pummeling his apprentice in the hallways with nothing but his fists.

He could also see a throwing knife in between his son's fingers. "Jaune. Move quickly, or I can assure you that this is going inside your ass."

A girly scream flies through the air as his blonde apprentice rushes over towards Qrow and pulls out his sword in one smooth maneuver, turning round the corner just in time for a throwing knife to pierce right through the parqueted floor.

Just a centimeter before Qrow's gonads.

His bird-form squawked, quickly smashing through the window and enduring the bits of glass with his Aura, before plummeting down into a thorny bush. Qrow could only curse his Semblance once more as another window was shattered open, this time by his son's apprentice smashing through it.

Overall, a very nice form. Six out of them, but only due to the fact that the idiot clearly didn't have a landing strategy yet.


End file.
